***This post follows my Fifty shades of Grey – Book Review which can be found here: https://konstantinasays.wordpress.com/2015/02/06/fifty-shades-of-grey-book-review/ ***

I walked into the movie theater expecting to find it full of women of all ages or the usual girlfriend/boyfriend combo. I was so wrong…


Ages 20something-40something, 70%male-30%female.

Probably, it was the porn expectations but this movie managed to fail even at that. The entire theatre started laughing around 5 minutes into it and never stopped since. It felt like we were watching a stand-up comedy and not a film that was supposed to be sexy. I had one of the most amusing nights ever! There wasn’t a single moment not to leave you breathless…from laughing too hard.

Dakota Johnson and Jamie Dornan are beautiful people (with Dornan being really hot)  but they can’t act! Or at least in this movie they couldn’t. Every single line felt like a parody. I had stated in my previous post about the book that the dialogue sucked. Guess what! Hearing it out loud was even worse. I hadn’t seen acting this bad for quite some time; I actually felt a pang of nostalgia for Stewart and Pattinson. I know, I am ashamed too… Not that the script helped them.

Grey was supposed to be broody and harsh and there was Jamie Dornan with his baby face trying not to burst into laughter or melt into goo because of his love for Anastasia in every scene. It made you want to pinch his cheeks. And what the hell was wrong with his voice? Was it the accent?

Johnson on the other hand looked, in lack of a better word, unorgasmic. Where was the passion you promised people?

I rate this movie with 2/10.

Would I see it again though? Hell yeah! One of the best comedies ever!


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